


Blackbird

by Ailsa_River



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, BDSM, Biting, Bondage, Choking, Degredation Kink, Dom Jennifer Jareau, Dom/sub, Eating Disorders, Edging, F/F, Fluff, Hand Kink, Impact Play, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Multiple Orgasms, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Praise Kink, Sex Toys, Smut, Squirting, Sub Emily Prentiss, Top JJ Rights, no Will
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 16:01:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29298561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ailsa_River/pseuds/Ailsa_River
Summary: "JJ frowned and turned her head in thought. She searched her brain for any sort of idea for what she was about to hear. She remembered a dark room, and Derek was mad at her for something. She didn’t remember. She had been his partner for entry, she knew that much. She sighed in frustration that she couldn’t remember any details before a shine outside her room caused her to flinch and squeeze her eyes shut."(Also posted on my wattpad account: @Nighttime_Dreaming).
Relationships: Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss
Comments: 20
Kudos: 59





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Brief episode of PTSD and a Flashback. Mentions of Injuries due to a shooting.
> 
> Alright folks, this is the first book/story I've started in a while so you gotta stick with me a little bit. These aren't edited so any mistakes are on me and feel free to point them out. 
> 
> This is a reminder that this book is 18+ and will involve sexual content of varying degrees. 
> 
> Please be respectful in the comments and any bigotry found will be deleted promptly. 
> 
> Stay safe and I hope you enjoy! I'd love to hear your feedback. Happy reading :)  
> ~ Ailsa

It was the incessant beeping that woke her in the end. It was high pitched and squeaky, just enough that it forced her to try and turn it off. Eyes closed, she tried to turn onto her side and throw her arm out to press the dismiss button on her alarm. Strong hands quickly connected with her shoulder and wrist that stopped her body in its tracks before steadily rolling her onto her back once more. Eyes still closed, the woman whined pitifully and turned her head towards the person. She knew who it was. She would know those hands anywhere. She offered up a sleepy pout that was quickly replaced with a hum when those same hands started to comb through her hair.

“Don’t move baby. You’re hooked up to some wires still and turning your body like that can rip your stitches.”

A frown took over pink lips before sleepy blue eyes blinked up at the harsh lights above her. She looked into brown eyes and whined again. She couldn’t talk. Why couldn't she talk? Emily ducked her head down so it rested against her own forehead and soft shushing sounds were whispered into her skin. Emily pulled back and brushed her hair from her face once more. She raised her other hand to stop the blonde’s from going to her throat. 

“Shh, it’s ok. I know you’re confused and scared but you need to listen to me. I don’t know how much you remember, but If you will stay calm I will tell you. You cannot speak right now, so i need you to nod your head for yes and shake it for no. Do you understand?”

The blonde hesitatingly nodded her head before taking a look at her surroundings. She was indeed hooked up to wires, and she could feel a dull burn along her chest. Only Emily was in the room with her, and if the light coming through her window was any indication of the time, it was early morning. Her team would probably be here soon. She turned back to Emily and shifted slightly to get comfortable. The blonde quickly regretted her decision when the burn in her chest exploded in a sharp pain. Emily quickly steadied her body when she began to breathe heavily through the pain. Once the pain levelled off once more, blue eyes locked with brown and she nodded again. 

“Alright. Now, obviously you are in the hospital. You are the only one still in the hospital and have the most serious injuries. Derek and Hotch also have some injuries however they are fairly superficial. Do you want a brief overview of what happened, or do you want all of the details. I can give you the details later on once you’re feeling better. Nod for the details and shake your head for the overview.”

JJ frowned and turned her head in thought. She searched her brain for any sort of idea for what she was about to hear. She remembered a dark room, and Derek was mad at her for something. She didn’t remember. She had been his partner for entry, she knew that much. She sighed in frustration that she couldn’t remember any details before a shine outside her room caused her to flinch and squeeze her eyes shut. A shine. Or a flash. The pain in her chest. Derek apologising. Emily crying. The blonde quickly shook her head and tried to lift her arms to hold onto the brunette as her breathing picked up again. Another flash caught her eyes and a warbled scream tore from her throat before Emily was hovering over her and holding her head into her chest. 

“SOMEONE GET THE FUCKING WINDOWS COVERED!”

JJ flinched at the sound of feet slamming against the linoleum floors and fisted as much of Emily’s clothing as she could. When it quieted down a little, JJ held on tighter to Emily when she went to move back. The blonde could hear someone else in the room and she wasn’t ready to face reality just yet. Emily, as if sensing this, soothed the blonde once more and turned her head to the doctor waiting patiently by the closed door until he was given the all clear to move. 

“Jayje, your doctor is the only other person in the room. He won't touch you without you giving him permission, but I promise he is safe. He’s good. But you have been asleep for a while now and he needs to check you out. Ok?”

A nod against her chest made the older woman slowly peel herself away from the blonde. Emily was still hovering above her before she pressed a kiss to her forehead and straightened up. Blue eyes carefully flickered over to the man in the room and flinched slightly before releasing he wasn’t looking at her. He was looking at her machines but was turned slightly away from her. When he was finished making some notes, he lowered his arms slowly before silently waiting. Emily greeted him and the man slowly turned around to face the blonde. 

He offered her a polite smile and nodded his head at her. He turned to Emily and she lifted her hand for a shake. The blonde watched the greeting silently before nodding her head and facing the man completely. The doctor smiled at the blonde at her acceptance and he pulled over a chair to sit beside her bed. The blonde appreciated him lowering himself so he would no longer tower over her. He pulled out a pen and his notebook before gently setting them beside her on the bed.

“Hello there, Agent. I am Dr Tyler and I am here to speak with you and just see how you are doing. Now, I know your partner here has explained that you cannot talk yet so I want to offer you my notebook and pen in case you would like to ask any questions. Is that alright with you?”

JJ looked at Emily for a moment before nodding her head. She dragged her hand along her bed until she could feel the notepad and pen. She pulled them onto her lap and stared at them for a moment before turning to the doctor once more. 

“Alright, Agent. Now, are you aware of why you are here or have you yet to be informed?”

A shake of the head from the blonde resulted in a nod from the doctor. He turned to the brunette and she nodded back at him. 

“Well, you were injured in the line of duty, Agent. You were shot in the chest, and so we had to perform emergency surgery to save your life. This involved performing a midline sternotomy as you sustained major damage. This means that we had to crack your breastbone to get access to the damage. You ended up with two bullet wounds to your chest, however one of them caused very little physical damage as it was sadly slowed by one of your team members. They suffered a through and through injury to the arm before the bullet hit you. They are perfectly fine, but this slowed the bullet enough that you faced very little damage from it. The main danger was the 2nd bullet which pierced your chest cavity and resulted in us cracking your chest. Do you understand?”  
A nod of the head. The blonde looked slightly queasy as she looked down at her own chest and caught sight of white bandages under her gown. She looked at Emily and the brunette offered her a sullen smile. 

“It was Derek. He’s the one that was shot in the arm before the bullet hit you. He’s _fine_.” 

The blonde furrowed her eyebrows at the tone of her partner before turning back to the doctor and nodding for him to continue. 

“Well, your surgery was complicated, and we did lose you a few times. However, we were able to successfully resuscitate you and repair the damage the bullets caused. Both have been removed from your chest. You will be left with extensive scarring to your chest, and it will be a long recovery time, however I think if you follow your recovery plan and take things easy, you will make a full recovery. Your heart wasn’t impacted by the bullets, but more by the stress of other damage to your body. Do you have any questions?”

The blonde grabbed onto the notebook pen pen but frowned when her hand shook slightly. Emily rested her hand above the blondes lightly to steady it before the blonde slowly wrote out her question. Why can’t i talk? The doctor looked the question over and nodded.

“You have to be intubated to help you breathe. When you fell after being shot, the man that shot you tried to strangle you which caused some swelling around your throat and trachea. We were very lucky we did not have to perform a cricothyrotomy, or cut open your throat, to help you breathe. However, the swelling did cause some damage to the tissue so it’s best to let your throat heal. Anymore questions?”

JJ stared at the doctor bewildered before turning back to her notebook. Infection from Derek’s blood? The doctor looked down at the question before shaking his head. 

“Not at all. While the bullet did contain traces of your agent’s blood, there wasn’t a lot. Plus, the bullet went through multiple layers of clothing before it pierced your skin. We also made sure to kill as many infections as possible in surgery. You are on antibiotics to help prevent any infections from occurring and at this moment, there is no concern of your blood mixing.”

JJ lifted the pen once more and scribbled onto the paper. Leave? Emily chuckled and pressed a kiss to the woman’s hair. 

“You should be able to leave within the next week. You have been mostly asleep since your surgery which has been very helpful for your healing. Since you are able to move fairly well, I believe the pain medication you are on is also helping. You were asleep for sometime after your initial surgery and then slipped into a coma for approximately two days. You have since been falling in and out of consciousness for the past five days. This is the longest you have been awake and we are very glad to see you responsive. Another doctor will be by to give you a neuro exam however I am confident that will turn out well.”

The blonde slumped into her bed and dropped the notepad and pen. She had been shot, twice, and then strangled. What was Derek doing when she was dying on the ground? Blue eyes were covered as she closed her eyes tightly and chewed on her bottom lip. Her hands moved up to the collar of her gown and she attempted to tug it down. Emily’s hands quickly caught her own and the blonde turned to her doctor. 

“I can show you your chest if you wish. However, it is mostly bandaged up as your dressings were just changed two hours ago. Are you sure you want to see?”

A fast nod from the blonde encouraged the brunette to remove her hands and the doctor moved to untie her gown. When his hands got close to her neck the blonde flinched away from him. He quickly moved his hands away and nodded to the brunette to untie the gown. 

“Now, I have to ask if you are comfortable with your partner here seeing your chest without your gown. Your breasts may not be completely covered because of your bandages. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

The doctor frowned when what sounded like an amused snort left the blonde. He turned to Emily and a small smile was playing on her lips at the blonde’s response.

“I’m her partner in work but also in life. We’ve been dating for three years now. We use “partner” at work to remain professional. I apologise, I thought you were informed of our relationship.” Emily chuckled as the blonde raised her eyebrows and a small smirk was painted across chapped lips. 

The doctor chuckled good naturedly before taking the untied ends of the blonde gown into his hands before gently peeling it away from her skin. Blue eyes locked down at her bandaged chest and raised an eyebrow. Her head tilted slightly as her hands lifted to try and touch them. Emily caught her hand and pushed it back onto the bed. The blonde pouted at her before turning back to her task at hand. The doctor chuckled slightly at the blonde’s reaction before he offered her the ends of her gown to hold onto so she could occupy her fidgeting fingers. 

JJ smiled at him before staring at her body. She quickly frowned before raising her left hand and painting to her ribs. Emily frowned but the doctor laughed. Emily turned to him before she felt a finger poke her chest. She looked down and saw the blonde’s finger pressing against her tattoo. The brunette rolled her eyes before turning to the doctor. 

“Your tattoo is perfectly fine. Its placement on your ribs beneath your breast means it was not part of our surgical area. The skin is currently swollen and a little stretched but I believe it was still legible when the nurse was changing your bandages.”

The blonde looked much too happy with herself at the news and the brunette groaned as she leaned down and brushed her hair behind the blonde's ear. The doctor smiled at them and moved forward with his exam and the blonde was in much happier spirits to continue. The doctor gave the blonde a positive exam result and promised to check in with her in a little while. Her gown was re-tied and her hospital blankets pulled back over her.

Emily was about to close the door behind him when she caught sight of Penelope rushing towards her. Emily smiled at her and quickly gathered her third favourite blonde into her arms in a bone-crushing hug. A loud thump from inside the blonde’s room was heard and the two women jumped apart to see a very jealous looking JJ with the doctor’s pen in her hand. She had thumped it against her bed table. 

The women joined her and Emily went to tease her for her jealousy before huffing when she realised the jealousy wasn't for her. JJ reached her hands out for Penelope and sighed happily when she was wrapped in a warm hug from her best friend. Penelope laughed and grinned at her friend before pressing a big kiss to her forehead and leaving behind a red lipstick mark.

Emily cackled with laughter as she quickly took a picture on her phone. The blonde smirked, all too proud of herself. The older woman was happy to see a glimpse of her JJ but knew this was the adrenaline carrying her through. She would crash eventually and when she did, her happiness would too. A knock at the door gathered everyone's attention and both Spencer and Hotch shuffled through the door. A noise left the blonde at the crutches she saw supporting her boss. The man offered her a small smile as he moved himself closer to her. 

“I’m alright. My knee is pretty banged up but nothing a little rest won’t fix. I’m fine.” 

JJ raised an eyebrow at him and looked at Spencer. The young man smiled at her and then frowned at the look on her face but he eventually caught up with her thought process. 

“Oh. He will be fine. The crutches are just to help take unnecessary pressure off of his knee to aid in the healing process. He has been told to use them for the rest of the week as a safety precaution but otherwise he is perfectly fine.”

The blonde appeared to be happy with his answer as she turned her attention to the door. She stared for a moment before frowning when Derek had yet to walk through. She turned to her team and furrowed her brows when Emily refused to meet her eyes. She turned to Penelope and poked her until the blonde took a step back and looked at the ground guiltily. Panic forced the younger woman to try and sit forward but was quickly held down by Emily who used her strength to her advantage. JJ made a noise and tears welled up in her eyes in fear. Spencer quickly moved forward and put his hand on her knee. Blue eyes looked at him and he smiled at her.

“Derek isn’t hurt. He is perfectly fine. He only had the shot to his arm. He got some stitches and some antibiotics. That’s all.”

The young agent turned to Emily and frowned at her evasiveness. She squeezed her partner’s hand and when she saw the anger on the woman’s face she pushed her hands into her hair. JJ pulled their foreheads to rest together and stared into brown eyes as she waited for an answer. Emily tried to move back but the glare she saw in the woman’s eyes made her stop. She knew that look whether they were in the hospital or not, JJ’s rules were clear. 

“He won’t be by to see you. You may not remember everything that happened, but it was his fault. You too had an argument, he was wrong, and he didn’t like it. Because of that, he let his anger control him and he started the events that led to you being shot. He’s been suspended and I've warned him to stay away from you.”

The blonde made a move to argue and sit up before she was once again pinned to the bed. 

“No. I am not being dramatic. I am not being over-protective. My choice was the right one and everyone in this room agrees with him. Morgan put your life in danger, and you flatlined twice before surgery was over. His recklessness and pride nearly got you killed. We have a rule, and I'm calling it while you are awake and you can hear me. Rule Five.”

The blonde stopped and looked at her teammates. None of them looked happy about it but they all nodded. JJ stared at Garcia. All she did was offer a watery smile to the blonde and nod her head again. Emily forced her head back so they were looking at each other. She was crying a little now. And when JJ pulled her hand in front of her face, she could see the dried blood on her fingers from where Emily had nearly mutilated from from her anxiousness. 

JJ nodded at Emily and settled back down on the bed. She turned to Hotch and lifted her hand up to reach for him. He moved closer and frowned at the blonde in confusion. She reached for his hand and the man wasn’t prepared for cold fingers to settle on his pulse point. He stood still for a moment before the blonde let go and reached for Spencer. He offered the woman his wrist and offered her a small smile as she let go. She did the same for Penelope before letting go and tangling her fingers into one of the other blonde’s bracelets.  
The others watched as the blonde lifted her hand to the brunette's chest. She tugged hard at the collar of her shirt and Emily groaned as the telltale sound of fabric stretching and tearing met her ears. She jumped slightly as the blonde’s cold hand rested over her tattoo and therefore, directly over her heart. Emily smiled down at her girlfriend and nodded her head as she put her own hand over the blonde’s. 

“I’m right here. We’re all right here. Don’t worry. We aren’t going anywhere, Blackbird.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, here is Chapter 2. I’m not particularly happy with this, but i did want to bring in the rest of the main characters such as Derek, Rossi and of course baby Henry. Will is not a factor here, nor is he the biological father.
> 
> Let me know your thoughts! Happy reading and stay safe, everyone!  
> ~ Ailsa

The older woman’s head dropped once more before the woman quickly picked her head up and rubbed her eyes. She turned towards the hospital room door as it opened and offered Rossi a sleepy smile. The older man returned her smile before sitting beside her and handing over a cardboard drinks cup. The brunette took a grateful sip before humming happily at the taste of the hot chocolate.

“She missed you today. She woke up properly and once the team left she kept asking about you. She fell asleep about half an hour ago now,” Emily whispered.

Rossi nodded his head and settled down into his chair. He lifted his own coffee cup to his lips and took a long drink before pulling his suit jacket tighter around his body. He looked over at the blonde as she was laying on her back with the bed slightly raised. Her fingers were tangled with Emily’s who was once again struggling to keep her eyes open. 

“Get some sleep, Prentiss. I’ll watch her.”

Emily, finally too tired to argue, sleepily nodded her head. She mumbled to herself as she pulled her hoodie from over her head and settled it onto the blonde’s chest. As predicted, the younger woman clutched it close to her body and pulled it up to her face. Rossi watched as Emily shifted the material so it no longer blocked the blonde’s airways before tapping her head and shuffling her way over to the guest bed pushed up to the opposite side of the blonde’s bed. The woman clambered on before pulling the blankets up and curling into the blonde’s side. A pale arm settled over a small body before she mumbled once more. 

Rossi forced himself to his feet before walking over to the brunette and fixing the blankets so they were tucked into her side. He moved to the lamp Garcia had brought over and dimmed the light so only a soft glow in the corner of the room remained. He moved back to his chair and settled down comfortably as he watched over the sleeping women. He would greet the blonde whenever she woke up, but he hoped it wouldn’t be for a while. Even in the low light, he could see how exhausted the blonde looked. He had watched Emily straddle the blonde on a gurney and hold pressure to her wounds as the paramedics rushed to get her to the hospital for her best chance.

Her shirt had been soaked through with her own partner’s blood, and her hands had been the deepest shade of red he had ever seen. When he got to the hospital, he saw her standing frozen. She was still, and the blood on her hands was beginning to dry but there was still a small puddle where the residual liquid had dripped from her fingertips. He had gently pulled her into his arms and led her over to the seats in the waiting area. He had taken hold of her hands and held them as they began to shake and reality was beginning to crash around her. He had been hoping to see her come back to herself, but not in the way that she did. 

When Derek walked through the door, Emily had him pinned to the wall beside it moments later. She had his collar fisted in one hand as the other took a swing at his face. She got another two hits in before Hotch and Rossi managed to pick her up and pull her away from the man. Spencer was kneeling on the ground beside the older man to make sure he was ok before helping him up onto his feet. Rossi and Hotch pulled Prentiss into a bathroom and locked the door behind them as the brunette screamed and fell to her knees. The men waited until she was gasping for breath but otherwise calm before they touched her once more.

Hotch held her steady in front of the sink as Rossi turned on the water and scrubbed the drying blood from her hands. Once they were clean and dry again, Hotch pulled off his suit jacket and began to unbutton his shirt while Rossi held the brunette steady. She seemed to recognise what was happening when she took the offered shirt and rested it on the counter. “ _I’ve got it from here_. _ **Thank you**_.” 

A small whining sound brought Rossi back from his thoughts and he turned to see the blonde squirming slightly in her bed. He moved over to her side and chuckled when a small smile danced across her lips. Blue eyes fluttered open and when she saw Rossi she hummed deeply in her throat. Her hand reached for him, and was clasped between the older man’s as he tapped her palm. He moved her hand back onto Emily’s hoodie before tucking her blankets around her body from where they fell loose. 

“Get some sleep. Emily is beside you and I’ll be right here.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The blonde grumbled when she felt cold fingers against her arm. She opened her eyes slightly and squinted at the nurse who was gently maneuvering the blonde’s body around. 

“Sorry for waking you dear. I’m just going to check your bandages and change them out for you. Go back to sleep if you’d like.”

The woman reminded JJ of her grandmother and a sleepy, morphine intoxicated smile danced across her lips. The nurse chuckled and patted the back of the woman’s hand before removing her gown and dealing with changing the bandages. JJ didn’t bother looking this time. Instead, she turned her head to Emily and pressed a kiss against the forehead resting on her shoulder. She noticed the door was open slightly, and smiled contently when she saw Rossi standing outside with his back to the door. It was nice to see that he had stayed.

Emily mumbled beside her before shuffling closer. Her arm moved to wrap around the blonde but she frowned when her hand touched an arm that definitely didn’t belong to JJ. Brown eyes squinted open and the nurse smiled at the woman before also giving her a pat on the back of the hand too. Emily hummed and tapped the arm beneath her fingers before letting go and pulling the arm safely into her own chest so as not to disturb the woman. The blonde smiled and turned her head so she could nuzzle into the soft brunette locks of her partner. 

Emily was content to watch the nurse work, and she made sure to take note of how the nurse changed the bandages so she could do it for the blonde too if she needed it. The nurse moved the gown back in place before very carefully touching around the blonde’s neck. Emily raised an eyebrow and looked to the nurse. A happy nod made Emily smile and cuddle into the blonde. Her arms wrapped around her once more and she grumbled deep in her chest as she settled down to enjoy the dark, cosy nest they had built in the hospital beds. 

“She’ll be able to start talking soon. The swelling has decreased quite nicely but the doctor can confirm that later for you. I’ll let your friend back in. Sweet dreams.”

Emily hummed and gave a little wave as the nurse and Rossi exchanged places. Deep breaths against her neck let the older woman know that the blonde was asleep again, so Emily turned to Rossi who was back in his chair and looking at her. He offered her a little wave and a quiet chuckle escaped the woman as she waved back. Rossi pulled his phone from his pocket and looked down to read a text message. Once he was finished, he offered his phone to the woman who took it and squinted at the semi-bright screen.

**We’ll be there in 10 minutes. Garcia is stopping for breakfast and getting JJ’s favourite. Tell Emily we’ll be quiet coming in and we are happy to keep Henry with us another night until JJ can have him jumping over her.**

Emily nodded her head before giving the phone back and turning her attention to the blonde. She twirled her hair around her fingers and stroked her thumb over the curves of her face. The brunette wasn’t too sure what she was doing, but she knew it was very comforting when JJ did it to her. The woman then brushed her hair back with her fingers and trailed them down to the blonde’s throat. The nurse was right, it was much less swollen now that it had been the night before. More time must have passed than the brunette realised as the door opened and the team shuffled in quietly.

Spencer and Hotch were carrying the food and Garcia offered the brunette a hand-knitted quilt the couple always stole from her on their girl’s nights. Emily grinned and reached for it happily before pulling it over the blonde and tucking her in. Emily left the warm embrace for a moment to untuck the covers from around the blonde’s feat before returning to the warm cocoon they’d created together. Spencer smiled at her and set a paper bag down onto the table off to the side of the bed and brushed his curls away from his face. JJ whined in her sleep and the team all instinctively moved forward to tend to her. Hotch was the closest, and froze when JJ took hold of his hand and pulled it into her chest to cuddle. He squeezed her hand and when the blonde squeezed back, he eased his hand out of her weakening grip and pushed the hoodie into the empty space.

“She’s been grabbing a lot the last few hours. I think she’s trying to ground herself,” Emily whispered. 

The team nodded before starting to dig into their food. They spoke quietly and discussed some light hearted topics before stopping when the blonde began to wiggle in her sleep. Emily and Garcia, who both recognised the wiggles as the blonde waking up, moved the covers down from her chest slightly so she had more space to move. Blue eyes fluttered open once more and JJ grinned when she locked eyes with her love. 

“Good morning.”

JJ scrunched her nose up slightly but smiled wider at the brunette. Garcia came forwards and held out a cup of water for the blonde who gratefully took a few sips before handing it back. The team pulled their chairs closer and laughed quietly when they watched the blonde sniff before lifting her head and searching for her breakfast. Emily laughed before she reached for their food on the table. The blonde grinned happily as her food was put in front of her, but was unable to do anything except wiggle the foot closest to Garcia until the colourful blonde grabbed her ankle over the blanket and squeezed. 

“I thought you’d like it.” Garcia giggled.

JJ nodded her head as she stared down at her food and took another bite. The blonde was chewing happily before she offered some to Emily who scrunched her nose at the blonde’s healthy breakfast. 

“I’d honestly rather drink gasoline.”

The blonde rolled her eyes but shrugged as she turned her attention back to her food; completely oblivious to the smiles and laughs coming from her team. A knock on the door caught everyone's attention, and Dr. Tyler poked his body in slightly before smiling at everyone. He looked at the blonde eating happily and grinned as he moved over to her and asked her to tilt her head up. She didn’t flinch this time when his hands came near her neck, only shivered and squirmed from the cold ticklish feeling against her skin.

“Well Agent, I’m happy to confirm the swelling around your throat has gone down and that if you want to start trying to talk again that’s perfectly fine. You’ve had just over a week to rest it and the bruising is the biggest sign that anything happened. I got your latest labs and everything is checking out perfectly fine. I will be back later to check in but for now we are mostly monitoring for infections and keeping you under observation. Congratulations, Agent. The nurse will stop by this afternoon to get you a little more mobile.”

JJ grinned at him before going back to her food and the doctor rolled his eyes before offering a happy smile to Emily and nodding to the rest of the blonde’s team. When the doctor opened the door, he frowned when a man stood before him,

“I’m sorry Sir, can I help you?”

Emily turned towards the door and glared at Derek as he spoke to the doctor. 

“Actually Dr. Tyler, we don’t want to see him right now. He isn’t to come into this room.” Emily called out.

Derek tried to look past the doctor but the man blocked his path and closed the hospital room door behind him to give the family some privacy. Emily turned to JJ who was no longer eating, but instead staring at her lap. A small frown was playing on her lips as she twisted her fingers and pulled her shoulders up as she curled up in the bed slightly. Emily moved the food back onto the table before gently resting her hand over the blonde’s. 

“I know you don’t understand or remember right now, but he doesn’t deserve to be in here. Once you’re out of the hospital and settled down, we can start talking about it. I can explain everything that happened when you’re ready, blackbird.”

JJ nodded before she turned her head towards Emily and pressed a kiss against her cheek. The blonde cleared her throat slightly before looking at the older woman. “I love you.” It was wheezy and full of gravel, and clearly still painful for the blonde, but it was finally her voice. Emily hadn’t realised just how much she had missed hearing it until the blonde was wiping the tears trickling down her cheeks. The blonde offered her a sad smile before turning to Hotch. She winced as she swallowed, but still took a deep breath before speaking once more. 

“Henry?”

“He’s at home with Jack and Jessica. You’ll be pleased to know he is still eating well, and we were only up with him three times last night. He does keep babbling about you whenever your name is mentioned, though.”

Emily grinned at the news and nuzzled her face into the blonde’s hair. 

“That’s my boy!”

The family laughed at the brunette woman’s prideful smile over her young son. The boy had just celebrated his first birthday two months before, and the small family had to watch JJ scold her excited girlfriend for getting their baby so worked up so close to his bedtime. The baby in question, had squeaked at his blonde mother from Emily’s arms before breaking out into a fit of giggles as the older woman blew a raspberry onto his cheek. 

The young agent smiled at Hotch before reaching her hand out for her phone. Garcia stepped forwards and moved the table over to the couple. She then pulled out a laptop and set up a skype call for the blonde to see her son. JJ rushed to push herself up before wincing and falling back onto the mattress. A deep cough escaped her lips and the team moved closer to help her. Emily soothed her partner and Spencer quickly helped raise the bed so the blonde was supported. 

The blonde pushed everyone’s hands away from her and grinned into the camera when Jessica was seen holding a very squirmy baby in her lap. “Henry, look! It’s Mama!” The boy's head seemed to snap to face in front of him, and a very loud screech pierced their ears. The boy’s arms were flailing in front of him and he was bouncing on Jessica’s lap. Emily moved the camera over a slightly so she could be in frame too and grinned when Henry seemed to get louder. 

“Mmmmmmmmmmm!”

JJ felt her heart flip over in her chest when she realised her son was too excited to speak. Only babbles, screams and happy sequels were heard as the brunette pulled a face for him. He was still bouncing until Jessica lifted him from her lap and settled him onto his feet in front of the coffee table. She stayed behind him, ready to catch him if he fell, but smiled at the parents as they started another conversation with the toddler.

The blonde felt a soft kiss against her cheek and turned to look into brown eyes. She could see that Emily was uncertain. Her smile, while genuine, didn’t quite reach her eyes. Her grip was also tight on her skin and she had cradled the blonde into her embrace as they spoke to their son. It had been almost two weeks now that the brunette had went without her routine, and the stress from the incident probably did not help. The younger woman lifted her hand to grip at Emily’s chin before her thumb tapped against her bottom lip 3 times. Brown eyes seemed to light up before they turned to lock on her favourite set of blue through a camera.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, here is Chapter 3! We explore more of the women’s dynamic and a little more of what happened to JJ and the impact that has on her. Please let me know what you think!
> 
> Stay safe and happy reading!  
> \- Ailsa

Emily squeezed her eyes shut as a deep sigh escaped her lips. She stared around the bathroom and frowned when she remembered that JJ wasn’t here with her. She’d finally came home to shower, grab them both some more comfortable clothes and sneak in to check on Henry in person. When words had finally returned to the young boy, he had asked for his stuffed Simba stuffie to be brought to him. He had missed him, of course.

Emily frowned again before moving back into her bedroom and picking up her phone to call JJ. The brunette turned to her wardrobe and pouted before whining into the speaker when the blonde greeted her. 

“Emily. I won’t speak with you if you’re going to whine at me. Use your words.”

The brunette grinned at the deep tone of her partner before turning to head back into the bathroom. She turned on the water and blushed when the deep chuckle of her Sir registered in her ear.

“Use the lavender set. Your favourite moisturiser is in my nightstand drawer on the right. I want you to spend a good amount of time in the shower to relax. You will keep your phone on loudspeaker so you can hear me and listen for any instructions I give you.”

Emily hummed happily before moving the phone onto the counter and climbing into the shower. She sighed once more when the hot water seeped into her muscles and the brunette stood still as she sagged against the soothing pressure against her skin. She could hear the nurse talking to her Sir in the background and grinned at the sound of her chuckle. The blonde seemed much happier now she was closer to being released from the hospital. Emily understood the feeling. She pulled her lavender shower set over to her before lathering some shampoo into her hair. The blonde loved when she smelt of lavender, but specifically when it was paired with the brunette’s vanilla scented moisturiser. At the sound of her name, the brunette moved closer to the phone. 

“Sir?”

“Bring your collar with you. You will dress in my clothes once you have finished showering and you will bring a book with you. Do you understand?”

Emily felt her knees weaken in delight at the order and happily chirped back agreement. After so many busy cases and then the shooting, Emily and JJ had been separated for the majority of their work days before the hospital. Meaning, Emily was grumpy and pouty at night over the loss of her routine but far too tired to do anything about it. It was nice to have some of that back, even for a moment. 

“Good girl.”

Heat tore through the older woman as she whimpered before moving on to continue her shower. She listened for her Sir, but only heard the soft sounds of her breathing and the background noise of the hospital. Emily chewed on her lip as she rinsed her hair free from the soapy suds before trailing her eyes down the plane of her own body. Her fingertips twitched. A tongue escaped to lick over her lips and she shuffled her feet apart a little more. Before she could move her hand, a deep voice interrupted her. 

“Don’t you dare.”

A squeak of surprise and then a frown coupled with a whine confirmed the blonde’s suspicions. Emily pouted and clenched her fists at her sides as she listened to her Sir laugh at her expense. 

“You are very predictable, baby. A warm shower, my clothes and your favourite shower set? It wasn’t hard to catch up with your train of thought. Be a good girl and get out of the shower. Can’t have you breaking any rules now, can we?”

Emily nodded along before turning off the water and wrapping herself in the fluffiest towel she could find. Moving into the bedroom, the brunette turned to look over at the blonde’s clothes.

“I want you in my white shirt. You know the one. And I want you in my favourite jeans. Your collar will hang over your shirt, and I want you to curl your hair. Be a good girl, ok? I need to deal with a doctor. I’ll see you soon.”

Emily offered her own goodbyes before setting out to carry out the rest of her orders. She grabbed the clothes from the wardrobe and lay them on the bed before pulling out the moisturiser and sitting it down on top of the nightstand. The brunette rose to her feet and moved over to the chest of drawers. She opened the top drawer and scanned over each of her collars resting perfectly on their stands.

She had two play collars and a subtle, public collar. One was thick, with multiple layers and a thick o-ring attached while the other was thinner, and more for representation than to use as an object. Her last necklace was a thin, solid gold necklace she used in public. It had a diamond encrusted pendant in the centre, and the blonde often loved seeing the older woman wearing it. Emily reached for the gold necklace before her eyes drifted back to her thin play collar. Deciding to tease the blonde, Emily took hold of the play collar and clipped it around her neck with a smirk before moving to continue getting ready.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

JJ was chuckling at something Garcia had said before turning her attention to the door when Emily walked in. The blonde froze when she saw the black band against the woman’s pale skin before smirking and patting a free space on her bed. The brunette grinned at the blonde and moved to sit by the blonde’s knees. JJ pushed her fingers into brunette hair and tugged on a curl before straightening out a forming crease on the white shirt.

Garcia’s hand lifted to around Emily’s neck and toyed with her collar. Spencer started to comment on ‘the history of the choker’ while Hotch and Rossi continued a work conversation. JJ pulled on Emily’s arm and directed the woman to lay down against her shoulder before turning her attention back to Garcia and carrying on their conversation. Warm fingers caressed the leather band around her neck and the brunette turned her neck so the fingers could slip beneath it. She offered the blonde the book in her hand, and grinned when a hum escaped the blonde and a smirk took over her lips. 

“Good girl.” Whispered the blonde.

Emily turned her head into a tanned neck to hide the slightly flush spreading across her cheeks. Fingers scratched through her hair and the brunette shifted herself so her legs were straddling one of the blonde’s thighs. While she couldn’t lay on her Sir’s chest, she could get as close as possible on her lap. Penelope giggled before she moved onto the bed too and settled down behind Emily. A mixture between a squeak and a squeal was heard when Emily felt cold fingers dig into her ribs from behind. The men turned to the women on the bed and chuckled when they realised that Penelope had managed to, once again, win a point in her small war with Emily.

“I believe that is 5-3 to me, peaches. You really need to start paying attention. You’re getting sloppy.”

Emily balked before grumbling and hiding against her partner again to hide from the attention. 

“Jennifeeeerrrrrr!”

The blonde in question chuckled before wrapping the brunette up tighter in her arms as a way of defending her love. 

“Nice one Garcia. That’ll teach her.” Emily’s head shot up and she glared at the blonde. Her jaw was dropped before she closed her mouth and scowled at the woman.

“Traitor. Spencer would never do that to me. I’m on his side now.”

The man turned his attention to the women and grinned before nodding his head and letting his hair flop back over his forehead. Emily grinned at him before getting up from the bed and moving to sit beside him. She started to speak in Russian and the man excitedly turned towards her to listen as the woman went on a tangent. Her hands started to move as she spoke, and she grinned at her friend as she nodded his head and shifted his position on the chair. 

JJ looked at the scene with a smile before turning her attention to her friend. The fellow blonde was smirking at her as she subtly nodded her head towards the brunette woman. She then wiggled her eyebrows and JJ felt herself grin in response. Of course Garcia knew. There wasn’t much she didn’t know at this rate, but neither women had ever discussed this part of their lives with their family. Knowing now that Penelope had figured it out was comforting, but also made the blonde’s ego inflate. Even Garcia knew that little old her had tamed the big and bad Emily Prentiss. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Night had fallen over the hospital, and the blonde was awake staring at the ceiling. Her medication had worn off, and the uncomfortable ache in her chest pulled on her stitches with every breath that she took. While it was better than it had been, it was still uncomfortable. The painkillers did a great job of keeping the pain down, but the blonde still hated taking them. During the day when her team were in visiting or she was skyping with her son were the moments she couldn’t stand to show her discomfort. They wanted hre to be ok, so she made sure to make it seem like she was.

Turning her head to her beloved, the younger woman frowned slightly as she brushed a loose lock of brunette hair behind an ear. Emily had been great. She had supported her, hadn’t pushed her, and hadn’t crossed any of the boundaries they had set up together. However, the blonde could see just how exhausted the woman was. Their routine had already taken a hit when the blonde had gotten pregnant and given birth, but things were getting back to where they had once been. That was, until the shooting. 

She still got flashes. Usually, it was the same moments over and over again. The darkness, the eerie silence that had overwhelmed her when she stepped into the room, the look on Derek’s face when she had walked in first. A flicker of light and a searing pain. Blood on her hands. The blonde squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath to try and will the thoughts away. Another moment passed before blue eyes opened and took a look around her room. 

The blinds were still shut from that first day she had woken up in a panic. Whenever a nurse or doctor came by, they made sure to keep the door closed and provide the agent with as much control over her situation as she could get. Turning to Emily again, the blonde traced the leather collar around her neck. It was obvious that Emily was missing her routine. Usually, it was the best way to come together after a hard case and get all of their frustrations out. Once, JJ had ended up in crutches due to an unsub tackling her into a tree, but she still found a way to be with Emily that night and bond with her. Now, she was struggling to breathe. 

Emily had lost her Sir and there was nothing she could do about it. Henry had lost the arms of one of his mother’s. With all the medication she was now on, she couldn’t breastfeed him either. She knew that was going to be a struggle all on its own as the boy refused to drink any kind of formula when he knew his blonde mother was there with him. Emily had stepped up there too. She was a brilliant mother, and Henry had adored her from the moment the brunette had held him after his birth. But now, she was the only mother the boy ever got to see. Babies were jumpy and excitable, something the blonde couldn’t handle while in the hospital and struggling to sit up on her own without feeling her stitches pull slightly.

The blonde sighed and settled back onto the mattress. She had just fucked everything up and had no idea how she was going to fix it. Emily and Henry needed her, but she could hardly help herself. Bitter tears stung blue eyes as the woman balled her hands into fists and squeezed as the ache in her chest seemed to spread into her head and down to her toes. A heavy weight settled in her stomach that only amplified how empty it was, but the mere thought of eating anything had caused bile to rise up her throat.  


Turning away from the woman in her arms, JJ clenched her teeth and took a steadying breath as she squeezed her eyes shut again. The nauseous feeling settled at the back of her throat and a cold sweat crawled across her skin to seep in and send chills throughout her body. Her was beginning to pound, and the burning in her chest only seemed to aggravate her breathing. Even with her eyes closed, the blonde was adamant she could feel the room spinning around her as she quickly turned over the edge of the bed and emptied her stomach of bile and acid.

A cough tore its way through her lips, which caused a sharp pain to spread across her chest and a cry to escape her lips. The taste on her tongue and spinning room caused the blonde to grab onto the bed and move away from the strange heat beside her. Hanging over the edge to try and get some fresh air, a loud sound from behind her startled the blonde into throwing herself off of the bed and onto the floor.

_It was dark._

Blue eyes widened as she looked around the blackness creeping in from the edges of the room and she cried out as she felt a sting in her arm and a sharp wave of pain encompass her body.

_A flash. A bang._

Another loud sound. A shout. The blonde sobbed as she heaved for breath and pushed her sore body up and over to a wall. Her hand fell to her hip for her gun and felt another wave of panic wash over her when she realised she wasn’t armed. He was going to get her.

_Derek shouting. Another bang. Pain._

The blonde screamed and slammed her hands into her chest to find where she had gotten hurt. Pain fizzled on her nerve endings and she sobbed as she felt wetness covering her hands.

_Blood. She was bleeding. Derek swearing. Another bang._

JJ whimpered and slumped slightly as she pressed her hands to her chest to try and save herself. Where was the team? Where was Emily? Why had Derek left her?

_Hands around her throat. She couldn't breathe. Another bang. Dereks gone._

The woman fell onto the floor as her hands wrapped around her throat to try and get the man off of her. Her hands slipped against skin. She was still bleeding. A gargled scream escaped cracked lips when hands settled onto her thighs. She threw her arm out and wiggled on her back to try and escape her attacker. Where was Derek? She could feel her throat closing as the darkness seemed to become more hazy. Another loud noise. A voice. Hands on her arms. More fighting. Another bang. More light. More hands. A weak kick. A wheezy scream.

Light flooded her surroundings and the blonde screamed as she saw blurry figures all over her body. Another cough. Another wheeze. Emily. The blonde reached her hand out before she saw the red glistening on her fingers. Another terrified whimper left the blonde before Emily was straddling her stomach and taking hold of her face. 

“Look at me. JJ, look at me!”

The blonde focused on the woman above her and held onto her arms tightly. She squeezed with everything she had to hold the woman above her. Emily kept staring at her. Speaking to her. JJ tried to pay attention but the panic was seeping into her bones once more. A clear mask was handed to Emily and the brunette was over it onto her face. The blonde tried to fight once more before Emily shouted her name and pressed to it her face harder. When the younger woman realised it was easier to breathe with it on, one of her hands flew to her mouth and held onto the mask tightly as her other hands lifted and wrapped around the black band around Emily’s neck. 

More hands and more noise seemed to wrap around her, but the blonde refused to look away from Emily. When she could feel like she could catch her breath, the blonde’s head slammed backwards as a sharp pain engulfed her senses. A loud wail escaped her as her hand moved to her chest. Emily caught that hand too. 

“JJ! JJ you’re safe. You’re in the hospital! You’re ok! JENNIFER!”

Blue eyes locked with brown as the hands became arms that became people. A nurse was holding her shoulder to the ground while another was cutting her top from her body. Emily noticed recognition start to come over the blonde and felt herself release a sigh of relief. Her hands moved up to the blonde’s face once more and got her to copy her breathing as the blonde cried in pain. 

“You’ve ripped your stitches open. You’re going to be ok. That's it, it was just your stitches. There’s no unsub, Jayje. He’s gone. I promise you, he’s not here.”

A shaky nod and a pain filled gasp was the only affirmation the blonde could at the moment as the pain in her chest felt overwhelming. A nurse came over with some morphine, and gently administered it to the blonde to try and keep her distress to a minimum. The blonde tried to reach her hand out for Emily before the older nurse she recognised from her dressing changes took hold of it and gave it a squeeze. 

“It's alright, agent. You just had a bit of a scare. We’re going to fix your stitches and get you back in bed. You just lay here right now, alright? Emily and I will stay right here. Just don’t move, alright?”

Jennifer looked at Emily before nodding with her and letting the nurse lower her arm back down. Emily didn’t remove herself from her position on top of the blonde and she was thankful. The weight of the brunette on her hips was familiar and grounding. Emily’s hand came to the wrist still wrapped around her collar before she squeezed it tightly and continued to help the blonde take calming breaths. Exhaustion seemed to hit JJ like a train as she fought to keep her eyes open. A small smile and nod from Emily was the last thing she saw before the darkness consumed her.


	4. Chapter 4

Brown eyes stared blankly ahead as another nurse came into the room to check on the blonde. She left as quickly as the others had, and made sure to shut the door gently on her way out. The woman stared down at the coffee cup she held in her hand. The lid was sitting on the table beside her and the dark liquid seemed to match the mood within the four walls. The blonde was asleep on the bed, her chest covered with fresh bandages covering the new stitches holding her chest together. She hadn’t ripped many of them open, but their placement with the aid of the blood thinners meant they bled more than usual. 

A panic attack. Perhaps a flashback and a bout of PTSD, the doctor had said. Keep her drugged up under light sedation for the night, the doctor had said. Emily had watched the blonde pass out from the pain meds on the floor before nearly body checking the doctor when he had tried to touch her. Emily had cradled her beloved into her arms and rested her on the bed before settling down beside her and watching the nurse tend to her wounds. She had watched someone come in and clean the floor of the blonde’s vomit before offering her a kind nod and leaving silently. 

Now, Emily was sitting in an uncomfortable chair across from the blonde and staring into the nothingness across the room. It had taken her less time to get the blood soaked hand marks scrubbed off of her skin than it had when the couple had first arrived here, but there was only so many times you could be covered in the blood of your beloved before the mere sight of the colour red turned your stomach. Pale fingers moved up and clutched at her collar; her thumb rubbing softly against the leather as she continued to stare.

Nobody knew what she had remembered that caused the blonde’s downward spiral, but the doctors were going to be monitoring her closely to try and determine if it would impact her return home. Emily hoped it wouldn’t. That maybe, they could escape soon with promises of going to shrinks the couple would eventually argue over about their level of importance. She looked down at her coffee once more before lifting it to her lips and taking a hearty gulp and grimacing at the lukewarm, bitter taste. She dumped the coffee cup on the table before turning her attention to her fingers and staring at the mutilated skin around her nails. 

She’d manage to stop the abuse before her fingers had started to bleed; she’d had enough of washing it off of her body. Her phone buzzed softly in her pocket, and the woman sighed as she rooted around in her pocket for the device. The dull glow barely chased away the darkness around her and the woman felt a sad smile take over her face. Hotch had sent her a photo of her son. He was curled up on his belly with his tiny bottom in the air. He was holding Simba by the tail in a tight fist that was resting against his pouty lips. The brunette stared in wonder at the child that looked so much like the blonde. The child had the same blue eyes and blonde hair, and even the same cute nose. His smile however, seemed to be an exact match to the brunette. How that had happened, the couple didn’t know, but Emily found her heart melting at the baby’s grin every single time. 

He was usually a great sleeper and an easy baby, but it was no surprise he had been difficult since the incident. Tonight it seemed, with his Simba close by and his favourite blanket beneath his head, he had found some much needed comfort in his slumber. A video message popped up in the brunette’s notifications, so she clicked and felt herself relax as her son appeared on the screen. 

He had shifted onto his side, and was giggling in his sleep. A warm, happy smile appeared on his face and Emily watched his tiny legs kick out before he pulled them back into his chest in the fetal position he loved ever so much. Another babble and a grunt escaped him before he settled down and the video ended. Tears pricked at the woman’s eyes before she looked up at her love once more. She missed them. She missed their nights cuddling at home in bed or watching Henry crawl around on the floor. She missed his squeals and shrieks of happiness and the way her love would giggle at him whenever he placed sloppy kisses against her cheeks and chin. 

A pang hit her deeply in her chest as she wiped her tears away. They would get it back soon. Both women had months off of work now that the blonde had to recover, and coupled with the physical and emotional therapy the blonde had to deal with, it was going to be a long couple months. It also meant the team would be down three members for the foreseeable future. Emily had offered to help with a few consults and ideas when she was free but the blonde was cut off. Another thing the woman wasn’t all that happy about.

She flexed her fingers and put her phone down on the table. Putting her hands on her knees, the brunette used them for support as she forced her tired body up from the chair. She shuffled forward a few steps before stopping and rubbing her hands over her face. She silently made her way over to the window and moved the blinds slightly so she could see out. The outside world seemed darker now than it had before. The street lights left dim patches of visibility spread across the street. The ground was drenched as the rain thundered down onto the concrete. 

Brunette eyes studied the water splashing back up into the sky in ricochet and felt her eyes burn once more. How many times had she and JJ danced in the rain? Kissed in it? Hugged in it or celebrated in it? The rain always had a way of washing away the fears of the day, but now the brunette was watching it from afar with her greatest fear lying behind her in a hospital bed. The door opened once more and the woman turned to see yet another nurse coming in to monitor the blonde. 

A splashing urge seemed to seep into Emily’s skin as she watched the blonde be maneuvered around the bed. She was limp and heavy as the nurse checked her over, and the bile in Emily’s stomach moved to settle at the back of her throat. Moving quickly, the brunette grabbed her jacket and phone before muttering to the nurse she would be back.

Quickly moving to one of the shops included in the hospital and buying a packet of cigarettes, the woman made her way to stand outside underneath the cover of the entry before fumbling to open the packet and light a cig for the first time in months. She didn’t really smoke now, especially since the moment JJ announced she was pregnant. But sometimes, when the blonde couldn’t be there, the craving itched at her skin and she would succumb to the calmness the nicotine provided her head. The thought of the blonde seemed to make the craving burn across her nerves, so the woman quickly took a deep draw and tipped her head back at the feeling of the smoke in her lungs.

Breathing out slowly, she lowered her head and leaned against the wall behind her. There was no wind tonight, which made the rain slamming into the round bounce until it was reaching the height of the brunette’s kneecaps. She brought the cigarette to her lips once again and shifted her gaze to look around. There were some bushes off to her right surrounded by dirt and wood chips that had clearly been there a while. There were a few flowers in segregated boxes drooping from the weight of the water and a weaved basket on the ground overflowing with the rain. 

The ground beneath her toes was new, no longer the concrete slabs she had remembered it being a few months ago when she was last here to interview a victim. The bus shelter a good few metres away from her seemed to have a fairly recent coat of paint on it too. As far as hospitals went, it was pretty picturesque. She took a final draw from the cigarette before putting it out and throwing it into the ashtray on the wall. 

Brown eyes stared out at the rain once more before turning to look up and study the rain battering into the glass above. A soft sigh escaped Emily’s lips before she decided it was best to make her way back up to the room. Her footsteps were heavy as she walked, and she decided to take the stairs to give herself a little more time to get out of her head. As she turned the corner, she caught sight of a back at the reception desk. Before she was able to shake it off, the man turned to the side and headed for the stairs. 

A snarl bit at the edges of her lips as she quickly chased after him. She slammed the door to the stairs open before grabbing onto the back of his coat and pulling him back down the few steps he had managed to climb. Derek’s back slammed into the wall, but before he could move, Emily moved in front of him and slammed her fist into his jaw. Pale fingers curled around his collar and pulled him up once more before she lowered her fist against him again. The man groaned in surprise, and tried to get his footing to hit her back before Emily raised her knee to connect with his stomach. When he fell to his knees, Emily kicked him in the ribs with her boots before straddling his waist and punching him again.

“I fucking told you. _I told you!_ Stay the fuck away from her. Stay away from me. Stay away from my fucking son. I swear to god If i see you here again i will fucking kill you. You hear me?”

Both of her hands were clutching at his bloodied shirt as he stared at her. He tried to talk but Emily slammed his torso back into the ground. 

**“Leave us alone.”**

The brunette got up and moved towards the stairs, she heard him grunt behind her but she ignored him until she got to the landing and she heard his heavy steps on the stairs. Spinning on the balls of her feet, she glared at him. 

“You’re a fucking idiot with a death wish. You are not allowed to see her. If you go into her room or even on her fucking floor, I’ll throw you down these fucking stairs. You are not welcome here. You nearly fucking killed her-”

“I didn't do shit!”

Emily ran forwards and slammed him back down the stairs and into the wall. Derek grunted in pain when Emily grabbed his arm and twisted it up his back. He felt her breath against his neck as she moved towards his ear. 

“Your pride and misogyny got in the way of your fucking job. Because of you, she was shot. Because of you, she was strangled. Because of you deciding to chase the unsub rather than help her, she had to be resuscitated multiple times and was unable to talk for over a week. My son nearly lost his mother before he got a chance to even know her. _THAT_ , is on you. All of this, is on you. Out of my thanks to Hotch, I won’t break your arm but I swear to god Derek the professional courtesy is about to run out. **Leave.** ”

Pulling the man away from the wall and shoving him down to the ground, Emily turned back to the stairs and made her way back onto the blonde’s floor. She shook her hand out from its slight cramp before silently moving back into the blonde’s room. She was where she had left her, knocked out on the bed with blonde hair like a halo over the pillows. The older woman took off her shoes before crawling on the bed behind the blonde and curling herself around her. She nuzzled her face into the blonde’s neck and breathed in the smell of her shampoo. She just wanted to crawl into the blonde’s embrace and never deal with reality again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Small, soft hands were on her cheeks, and a familiar weight was settled upon her stomach. Blue eyes fluttered open, and an excited squeal erupted from the small face in front of her. Emily was sitting between her legs and supporting a very excited Henry who was wiggling in place and tapping at her cheeks. 

“Mommy!”

A grin took over the woman’s face as her hands came up to cradle his head. The youngster melted into her hands before wiggling so he could lay his head down on her stomach. Emily moved her hands to support her son’s new position before grinning at the blonde. 

“Doctor agreed it would be good for you to see the monkey. I went to pick him up when they weaned you off sedation. Anyway, he has been fed and changed, and now is expecting some very good mommy snuggles because Mama promised him and you cannot make me a liar to my first born.”

Blue eyes locked with brown and a tearful smile danced across pink lips. She nodded her hand and moved her hand to rub against a warm back. Henry giggled and lifted his head towards his mother before babbling. It would appear he was again much too excited to use his words. JJ ran her fingers through a tuft of blonde hair and smiled sweetly at her son. The boy smiled back before lowering his head and making himself comfortable on the blonde’s stomach once more. 

Emily rubbed her thumb gently against the boy’s ear before smoothing her hand down his back. JJ frowned when she saw the woman’s knuckles and quickly took hold of them as they moved back to caress the boy’s cheek. The brunette hissed slightly when tanned fingers moved over dark bruising and she flinched before letting her love inspect them.

“What happened? Did I do this?”

Emily frowned at the concerned look on the woman’s face before she carefully moved forward and placed a delicate kiss against one of her cheeks; mindful of Henry between them. 

“No, you didn’t. Derek came back to the hospital last night and tried to sneak in when I was out. I caught him on the stairs. We got into it.”

The blonde frowned before pulling the knuckles up to her mouth and softly kissing over each bruise. 

“I don’t like you fighting, baby. I understand you’re not happy with him, but beating him half to death isn’t the way to deal with this.”

The brunette scoffed before dipping her head down and pressing soft, gentle kisses against her dozing son’s head. She sat up again before taking the blonde’s free hand and pressing kisses into her palm.

“I’m more than unhappy with him. He nearly got you killed because of his pride and personal vendetta. He-” Emily cut herself off and swallowed the nauseating feeling back down. JJ pressed another kiss to bruised knuckles before taking a breath.

“I know. I woke up a few hours ago and remembered some more. He left me to chase the unsub even though he knew I had been shot. He left me to bleed out. I understand why you’re so angry, believe me i do, but this isn’t who you are anymore baby. I don’t want you turning into the woman you used to be. You’ve got a family now and a young son that needs his mother. Don’t throw away everything you’ve built because Derek still hasn’t been able to get his head out of his ass. He’s not worth your misery.”

Emily stared at the blonde and saw that she did indeed seem less unsure. She also seemed much calmer than she had been after her first attack. Henry whined in his sleep, resulting in both mother’s hands rushing to soothe his fitful slumber. A small smile came across Emily’s face as she carefully pulled the bed guardrail up and shuffled onto the bed properly. JJ spread her legs some more, and Emily shifted their sleeping son so he was secured between them both with the extra support of the bedrail. 

The brunette rested her head down on the younger woman's thigh and wrapped her arms around the boy. JJ moved her blankets up to support her family and keep them warm before settling back down and resting a hand on each of their heads. Her right hand supported her son while her left scratched at the brunette’s scalp. With the two beds locked together, Henry was safe in the middle with his mothers, and Emily had him cradled securely between them both as she kept her back to the closest edge. 

Blue eyes stared lovingly at the scene before her. Henry was sleeping peacefully, and Emily was gazing at him and tracing her fingers down his nose and along his cheeks. JJ recognised it as the way she would caress Emily’s face when they were together. JJ clenched her thigh twice to gather the woman’s attention. Brown eyes looked up at her, and JJ moved her fingers to trace down the woman's nose, across her cheeks and then down her jaw. Emilly grinned at her, and left a quick peck on the blonde’s fingers, before turning back to Henry.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was discharge day, and even with the small incident with her stitches, the blonde was ready and able to go and recover in her own home. She would have her first therapy appointment the next week, and was to take it easy for the next month before starting light physical therapy. Hotch was waiting at her home with Henry, and Emily was busy packing the last of their things so they could leave. The brunette was bouncing on her toes as she walked around the hospital room and giggled when the blonde took hold of her by the belt loops and pulled her into a kiss. 

“There’s plenty of time to do that later. Now move your ass into the hall so you can say goodbye to everyone that's been dealing with your shit for weeks.”

The blonde smacked the brunette lightly on her ass before moving over to the door and sticking her head out. Her doctor turned and smiled at the blonde before offering her his hand. The blonde shook it with a grateful smile and thanked him before turning to Emily and grabbing the flowers from her arm as well as the envelope. Walking over to the nurse, JJ tapped her shoulder and greeted her with a large smile. 

“Hello. I just wanted to thank you for all your help since I’ve been here. I know i wasn’t always the easiest to take care of but i do appreciate it. These are for you, and I hope you have some easier patients for a while.”

The nurse smiled warmly as she accepted the floors and envelope. Emily watched the women converse before moving to meet her blonde as she made her way to the elevators. Fingers hooked into the back of Emily’s belt loops as they stood together and then moved slowly to the car. Jennifer got herself settled into the passenger seat before putting the small pillow in front of her chest so the seatbelt wouldn’t dig into her stitches. Emily started the car and rolled the blonde’s window down just the way she liked it before pulling out of their parking space and making the journey home.

The blonde relaxed in her seat and watched out the windows as different cars passed them by. One car settled beside them, and JJ grinned at the golden retriever in the back seat pressing its head against the glass. Its tongue was pressed into the glass and she could just see the dog’s tail wagging furiously. She smiled and gave a little wave, and chuckled when the dog got excited and did a little spin. Sadly, the dog’s car took a different exit and the blonde settled herself in for the rest of the ride. The golden was the best part of it.

When they pulled into their house, JJ was excited to get inside and lounge out on her couch. Emily handed her the keys and departed with a peck to her lips as she went to grab their things. JJ moved and unlocked their forever locked door and smiled when Henry toddled up to her and hugged her around her legs. He seemed to get better at walking with every step he took. Hotch came up behind him and picked him up so the blonde could look at him better. Henry threw himself at his mother, expecting her to catch him, and the blonde was very grateful that Hotch was there to catch her. One arm had the boy sitting on it so he took the majority of the weight while his other hand wrapped around the blonde’s waist to support her. Emily walked through the door and cackled at the sight. 

“Henry, how many times do we have to have this conversation? Stop throwing yourself at mommy!”

Henry erupted into a fit of giggles before throwing himself at his brunette mother. Thankfully, Emily was able to catch him. She took hold of him and spun on the spot before stopping abruptly and grinning at her son’s maniacal laughter. She attacked pale chubby cheeks with some kisses before her eyes moved up to stare at her love. Quickly, Emily moved forward and trapped the blonde in her arms as she attacked her cheeks with kisses. Henry did too, however his kisses much much more sloppy and the blonde was cringing slightly at her wet cheek.

Hotch returned to the family before picking up the last of their belongings and moving to put them away wherever he could. Emily nodded at him before turning her attention back to her family. JJ looked tired, or perhaps just a little worn out. Henry, however, seemed to be perfectly content staring at the blonde and tapping his chubby hands gently against her cheeks. Strong white teeth peaked out from the younger woman’s smile before she made a show of trying to nibble on the boy’s fingers and smiling at him when he squealed and pulled away from her. 

Hotch walked back over and smiled at the women. He had put their dirty clothes in for a wash and put most of their clean clothes away in their room. The man walked over to his coat and picked it up before moving to pick up a small blue giraffe stuffy sitting on the couch. He walked up to the boy and settled the toy against his chest. 

“You better take care of him Henry,” The boy giggled and the man smiled down at him before turning to the women. “I’ve started your laundry, put away the majority of your clothes, and went grocery shopping. Emily helped me change all the sheets in the house this morning while Reid and Garcia cleaned up. You should be sorted for a little while, but if you need anything just give me a call. Good to see you back on your feet, Jennifer.”

The blonde thanked him with a smile, before hanging her son off to his mother and walking to man to the door. He paused at the threshold before turning and staring at her. His dark eyes seemed to study her before his eyes drifted down to where her bandages were visible from the collar of her top. A slight frown tugged at his lips before he met her eyes once more.

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“I’m the unit chief, it was my fault. I should’ve paired you with Spencer.”

The blonde chuckled. “Spencer got kidnapped and I was attacked by dogs last time he and I were paired together. I’m just working through each team member until I find one I won't get injured with.”

Surprisingly, a small laugh escaped the forever stoic man. He smiled at her before nodding. 

“You have a point. I’ll be hiring three temporary agents until you’re ready to come back. I know you want to help on the cases but Doctor’s orders. I know you’ll try and help Emily with anything she gets sent, but try and take some distance from the cases. Instead, I want you to form an opinion on the agent’s filling in for you. I’ll send you their files and you can let me know. Sound good?”

“Sounds good,” The blonde frowned slightly before looking down and chewing her lip. “What's happening with Derek?”

“An investigation. It doesn’t look good for him. Unfortunately, I’m starting to agree with Straus on her forming verdict. He was in the wrong JJ, and his actions have consequences. You are one of them and sadly he still refuses to accept that. Unless he changes his behaviour and attitude, he could lose his job.”

JJ nodded her head before sighing and wishing her boss a kind farewell. The door was closed softly and locked once more before she moved over to join Emily and Henry sitting on the couch. The boy was holding his giraffe and speaking with Emily about biscuits. His little hands bounced the toy in his lap before she wiggled slightly and spread his arms out wide before he crashed himself into the woman's chest. The blonde grinned and moved to join them. 

Her tired body sunk into the couch, and the toddler grinned at her before crawling over the brunette to sit in between his mothers. He dropped his giraffe before grabbing onto one of the blonde's hands and pulling it into his chest to study her fingers. The blonde wiggled them before making a claw and tickling the boy’s belly. He squealed and curled into the hand until the sensation stopped before sitting up and smiling at her so she would do it again. 

Emily could see the blonde was sleepy. Her blue eyes were slightly red around the edges and she had a slight tug at the corners of her lips. Pale fingers reached for Henry before picking him up and twirling around the living room. She settled the giggling toddler on her hip before turning to the blonde with a warm smile.

“Settle down and try and catch some sleep. Monkey and I will go finish putting things away and then start on some dinner. We’ll wake you when it is time to eat, ok?”  


Emily moved to help the blonde settle down comfortably on the couch before she helped adjust the blanket from the back of the couch over a weary body. Henry, seeming to notice the obvious signs of a nap, yawned and snuggled into Emily. While the brunette would usually leave him with her to nap, the blonde could hardly move and would be unable to catch him or move quickly to help him if he were to fall. Maybe she’d stay in to monitor them after she had the housework done. 

The brunette pressed a delicate kiss onto the blonde’s head before tilting her chin up and kissing her softly. A small smile tugged on the older woman’s lips the same time her beloved’s teeth nipped at the very same skin. Pulling away and smoothing her thumb over her cheek, Emily straightened back up and left with Henry to allow the woman some time to rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey folks! Little bit of a longer chapter this time as we delve into what really happened with Derek and the shooting but also some of Jemily's domestic life. Would longer chapters be something people would want? If so, I can make that happen. 
> 
> Let me know your thoughts! We will get into more of the women's relationship and dynamic soon, however I felt it is important to build their life together too beforehand. Is there anything you would all like to see happen? Drop me a comment and let me know! :)
> 
> As always, be safe and happy reading. See you next time :)
> 
> \- Ailsa


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